Friday, October 18, 2013

I'd suggest watching this ( open that can of worms )




If you're not touched then you just probably wasted about a good five minutes of your life and I'm kind of sorry. But not really. Although its an old, old, old, gospel song; it's still pretty good. Carrie Underwood and Vince Gill did this song justice. Its funny how when certain things in your life start falling into place. I first heard this version of the song sometime in 2011-ish. I was in the car, on the way to work from a doctors appointment in regards to an upcoming surgery ( little did I know that surgery would change my life ) . I was at a stop light in the middle of town, scanning the radio stations and it stopped on this. The voice singing, calm and confident belting out the song. You see, the chorus is where I started crying. I lost it. Ruined my make up and everything ( at this point in time I decided I should invest in waterproof mascara to avoid being mistaken for Tammy Faye I cant tell you how long I dug through the car for a napkin or wet wipe to clean my face up). Being brought up in the church as a child, you always get the '"Jesus loves me's " and " This little light of mine's." Those meanings behind the songs never went past the Sunday School years. I couldn't relate at that time, other than the pictures we were shown in church. It had taken many years, and a few important life events ( my parents divorce, my failed marriage and pending divorce) to realize that life isn't always so peachy. You never really go to school, meet your high school sweet heart have kids and live happily ever after. At least not in my life. Things had to happen for the message of this song to sink in. I never strayed from my faith, I've always been a firm believer; but sometimes you just don't know that stove is hot until you put your hand on the burner. It happens. After all the upsets and disappointments ( and maybe my own skewed candy coated vision) of how life should be, I learned that even when I was at my lowest, God never left me. He always has loved me unconditionally even before I was born. He has always been there, quietly cheering me on.  This song, puts things into perspective. I did not create the universe ( maybe it was all God, or maybe Him and a dash of cool science - bang!). I do not make the thunder roll, I did not make the skies full of stars. These are things beyond my control. Its a greater being than myself. He created me. He died for me on the cross, he beared the burden of the world on his shoulders ( and to think that lifting an arm load of groceries for only one trip  from the car is heavy) to take away our sins. I would have honestly told you almost 2 years ago my faith was shaky. Wobbly at best.

I'm not going to go and ask you to stop what you're doing so I can shake my bible at you. But I will tell you that God gives you certain situations to prove to yourself and others how strong you are. Willpower will only take you so far. Prayers, thoughts, and help from others is what is going to help you get through this life. You can't do it all yourself. You probably shouldn't. The world is a lot to take on when you live life with your head in the clouds. It also helps to be humble. Don't pride yourself on always being right. It's okay to be wrong. It's okay to not know everything. Sometimes it's perfectly fine to allow life to happen. Things may not go the way you planned. But remember, you can't plan everything. Whether you believe in God, Buddah, Allah or even that copper colored dead rust colored Christmas tree at the end of your street; there is a greater power.

Strength is not measured by how big you are, how much you can lift, or how many times you are right; but how much you can accept the reality of what is given to you and how you deal with it. That is strong. I know of at least 4 strong people I have talked to today. Each facing their own personal battles, I pray daily for them for as long as I can remember and for as long as I have known them. They complete my circle. They have prayed for me, in their own way, helping me bloom into the person I am today.

Truly I am so glad for these blessings in my life, for my inner circle, for the life experiences, and for this particular music aiding in the ministry to my soul.

First things Second

I can't help but think on a daily basis how lucky I am. I am blessed beyond means. Maybe not by everyone's standards, but I like to think that I live in the " upper echelon" if you will.

I wake up every day ( blessing number 1), I roll over and smile at my best friend ( blessing number 2 ), I look up to give a quiet moment of thanks to the good Lord above for everything ( in this particular order: family, food, money for bills, and my job, and thanks for loving me despite my screw ups on not being perfect) I ask for Him to guide me wherever he so chooses that day. After that, I pretty much force my lethargic body out of bed and shuffle about the house in the daily rituals. Depending on the day ( Monday - Friday call for the same: make coffee, pick out clothes for the day, brush teeth, track down previously said best friend try to kiss on him, check coffee, get dressed, kiss best friend on his way to work, and try to remember what time I am scheduled to arrive at my job); Saturday and Sundays ( a few minutes extra in bed, take a few extra moments for thanks and blessings, make coffee, brush teeth, get coffee and deliver coffee to best friend and myself and mill about for the day ).


I will go ahead and tell you this: if you happen upon this blog: congratulations. I tend to ramble. This is not a blog that I expect some "book or movie deal" from. This is just plain and simple my thoughts on ( eco friendly tech savvy) paper. I've gone through countless journals. Each journal once filled - papers get ripped out and disbursed into random trash receptacles. Its always been an easy out for me to just get my thoughts out of my head and hopefully not turning into a crazy lady.  This blog may very well even go days, weeks, months or years without another entry. Its just how I am. I'm not a dedicated writer. Go ahead, make that face, you know the huge frown that screams " Shame!! Shame on you!"  I know you want to.

I've had some interesting life experiences. Life seems to enjoy giving me the occasional fork in the road- and I usually tend to find a way to go along with it and see where it takes me. I also associate certain things with people, places, and things. Judge me if you will, but its how I make my brain and memory work as one. Its kind of scary the things I remember randomly. Times I feel like Rain Man. Yeaaaahhh. I also associate music with certain life situations. So I'm Sure I'll mention that somewhere along the way with this.

To close this : I'm blessed beyond means, I'm lucky, I've got a wonderful family, and I'm madly in love with my best friend. Maybe more to come, Maybe not. I'm calling it a night.